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Friend: How do you know you're bi?
Me: How do you know you're straight
Friend: No really, How do you know you're attracted to girls?
Me: Well... I'm not supposed to share this... but...
Me: One night a fairy visits you in a dream and says "When you awake you will be really into tits."
Me: And then you're visited by the ghost of vagina past, Vagina present and vagina future
Me: And then it just goes from there.
Friend:
Friend:
Friend: ....
Friend: Really?
Me: ...... No.


#I wanna say this to someone one day #lawl #i cracked up when I read this


I’m having too many brony feels…

From surfing on tumblr, I was enlightened of a MLP fanfic called My Little Dashie which caused many male bronies to shed ‘manly tears,’ so obviously I needed to read it…

I’m shedding so many tears right now. If people need a reason as to why a guy would watch MLP:FIM, they need only read this story. I’m trying to find words to give it justice, but I’m failing so bad. Just take my word for it. If you are a brony of any sort, you need to read this story… and have tissues at the ready, you’ll need them by the end of it. Now excuse me while I go try and handle all of these difficult feels.



#mlp #fanfiction #brony #so many feels #my little dashie #beautiful


When I was 16, I had a fake I.D. and decided to go to a gay bar by myself because some friends bailed on me. While there, an older gentleman bought me a drink. He wasn’t a creeper, and he definitely wasn’t unattractive. I accepted the drink and began talking to him. No big deal. As the hour progressed, I felt myself feeling strange. I mentioned that I felt like I had a headache, and this guy helped guide me out of the bar. As we were walking down the street, the thought of, ‘Oh god, he’s drugged me, I’m going to die’ came to my head. I tried to get away, but I was so drugged up that I could barely walk, let alone speak. It also didn’t help that I had really large ‘goth’ platform shoes because I was going through a phase. Anyway, this guy brought me to his suv and began undressing me. As a final act of defiance, I hit him over the head with my platform shoe. He then punched me, and I remember thinking, ‘Why don’t they ever give workshops to gay guys about being victims of rape too?’ While I was as careful as possible, I never saw the guy slip something in the drink. I even watched the bar tender make the drink. Anyway, I lied there completely paralyzed while this pervert was lubing up. I locked eyes with his for a moment, and that’s when it happened. A very large and angry drag queen opened the door of the vehicle and beat the shit out of my attempted rapist. She and her other drag friends helped dress and care for me while the police arrived. I was saved by a group of guardian drag queens. They were basically the modern day ‘angels from heaven.’

welcome-to-the-sinners-ball:

imgayitsok:

God bless drag queens.

Guardian Angel Drag Queens. I approve.

(Source: b-random, via roboticrainbowpanties)



#drag queens #beautiful people #guardian angels


Been a shitty day

Having to deal with the worst haircut of my life. Having a crush say they went on a date with someone today. Forever alone feels. Being a poor ass college kid. A bunch of other shitty feeling things, basically feeling pretty shitty.

Luckily, in my moments of self pity and loneliness, I have homestuck which along with the ‘smut’ of the highest caliber called kissing managed to bring a smile to my face. Thank you Homestuck for making my day a little less crappy.



#shitty day #feels #forever alone #homestuck #thank you


I am… AppleDash

Twilight Sparkle:

[x] You have a huge collection of books.
[x] You value your alone time.
[] You have trouble making friends.
[x] You are very intelligent.
[] You write letters regularly.
[] You find a lesson in everything.
[] You have trouble doing things “the old-fashioned way.”
[] You’ve recently moved to a new town.
[x] You’re rather sarcastic.
[] You’re often accused of being a know-it-all. 

Total: 4

Pinkie Pie:

[x] You’re the black sheep of the family. 
[] You’re majorly hyper.
[x] You love to siiiing!
[] You’re known for throwing great parties!
[x] You’re great at baking.
[] People sometimes don’t get your jokes.
[] You’re a prankster.
[] You’re a super-intense personality.
[] You have strange pets.
[] You are known to go to extremes.

Total: 3

Applejack: 

[x] You’re very stubborn.
[x] You find great joy in working.
[] You prefer the country to the city.
[] You speak with an accent. 
[x] You HATE cheating.
[] You have freckles.
[x] You prefer casual wear rather than flashy things.
[] You wear your hair in a ponytail.
[x] You have a large family.
[x] You have trouble lying.

Total: 6

Rainbow Dash:

[x] You love winning. 
[] You like sports.
[] You have a funky hair color.
[x] You have fangirl tendencies.
[x] You have no problem speaking your mind.
[x] You will give up anything for your friends.
[x] You like being recognized for good things. 
[x] You have no problem being ‘one of the guys’.
[] You act now, think later.
[] You’re very brave. 

Total: 6

Rarity:

[] You love being the center of attention. 
[] You have a cat. 
[x] You sew well. 
[] It’s well-known that you’re somewhat vain.
[] You love the excitement of the city! 
[x] You will overwork yourself to do something nice for your friends.
[] You wear makeup.
[] You’re prone to whining.
[] You have expensive tastes.
[] You enjoy ‘girl-time.’

Total: 2

Fluttershy:

[] You hate being the center of attention. 
[x] You struggle with sharing your mind.
[x] You love animals and help them however you can.
[] You’re graceful.
[] You’re very quiet or soft-spoken.
[x] You have a secret mean-streak. 
[] You’ve been told you could model.
[x] You’re the eldest of your friends.
[] You like wearing your hair loose and long.
[x] You’re very nurturing

Total: 5



#applejack #rainbow dash #I'm ok with this


... Yep, pretty much Why Normal Girls Cry: Boyfriends, breakups, getting rejected...normal things
Why I cry: Fictional characters, when my OTP looks at each other, my ships, fanfiction, pictures of hot, unattainable celebrities, parts in books where characters I liked die, when I watch the movie i've been waiting for FOREVER


#i'm ruined #otaku #nerd #geek #for life


My Bitch Ass Friend Me: If we were the Avengers, I think I would be Iron Man
Friend: Stark isn't into dudes
Me: I'm into girls and what I'm saying is that we have similar sexual behavior
Friend: Yeah, but Stark isn't into dudes
Me: .....*rages inside*
Read up
http: //tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/HoYay/ComicBooks
http: //i79.photobucket.com/albums/j144/crimsonquills/slashymoments/TonySteveYA.jpg
http: //img.photobucket.com/albums/v234/Muccamukk/Cap_IM/Avengers1-215.jpg
Does this even remotely look like a platonic relationship? um no


#omg that last pic #iron man #captain america #now i see why they are shipped


Anonymous said: Hey babby, wanna go fill some buckets with pancake syrup? *raises eyebrows suggestively*

Just for you oh mysterious anon who I have no clue as to who you are.